"Du du...Du du..."called: once, twice, five times, ten times; no one picked up. It sent an urge to us whether he's OK.
Dad was on his way driving from Sri Aman to Kuching in pouring rain last night. So about three hours later, mum called to check whether he's arrived Kuching safely, but no one picked the call up. The sense of worry suddenly strike us. Is he OK? Could it be accident because of the rain? I kept on imagining different types of scenarios: Maybe his car slipped to the side of the road no one notices him? Or landslides?
The phone tune echos in the back of my head, heart pounding rapidly, what do I do? Staring at the ceiling, wanting to shoot my prayers up to heaven, but then, it hit me hard "About time huh? Now that you're worried so you decided to ask God for help?" I felt truly ashamed.. "Have faith in God, seek His Heaven first..." These were what I've always encouraged others to do. Yet, when was the last time I spend quality time with God other than the short prayers before sleep or inconsistent devotions?
It was then I realized how bad my condition was, it was then i realised how little faith I have to the powerful God.
Sorry, Father, you must've felt heartbroken. I'm sorry, I don't even have the right to ask you for favours.
Then I began to think, what could I do. Knowing it would be useless, but I still texted my friend to ask for help. Just as I was about to sent out a second one, we received a voice message from dad confirming he's alright.
Then it hit me again, "In the end, you still don't trust me." That sound of disappointment... There's not one word other than SHAMEFUL could describe how I felt. "I'm sorry, I don't even have the faith of a grain of mustard seed." The Holy God is the Controller of all things, I should've have confidence in Him, instead of doubting His ability, doubting His faith to us.
Sharing this little story of mine to all Christians out there, reminding you that everything is in accordance of God's plan, because He's declared, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9)." Secondly, don't seek God only when we are in need, because He's promised, "But seek first God's Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33)." Lastly, let's spend more time with our Heavenly Father, so that we know more about His plan for us, and so our faith can grow bigger and stronger.